Parent Support Guide
By Michael John Carley
Introduction to the transition from high school to college for neurodivergent students
Starting as early as possible, parents are always wise (and never “overdoing it”) to focus on many different transitioning areas such as self-advocacy, sexuality, being comfortable with asking for help, exploring gap years (either through a normal job and perhaps an apartment in the outside world, or in specific, for-pay, “gap programs”), executive functioning skills, navigating disability services, self-care, burnout and mental health readiness, emotional regulation, communication skills, and independent living skills.
While social skills are necessary, we find that most “social skills programs/classes” can leave the student with low self-esteem—They tend to treat autistic culture as “wrong,” and the neurotypical world’s way of doing things as the right way.
So too are we suspicious of “mock job interviews.” The reason therein is that most interview settings reflect the overall company culture. So if a disclosed, neurodivergent individual struggles during the interview, it’s not likely they will last long at that company.
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How to Support your Neurodivergent High School Teen Preparing for College
How to Be Successful in College: Neurodivergence in a Higher Education Setting
Ten Lessons in Transitioning from High School to College for Students with Autism and Learning Differences
Guidance on shifting from direct parent management to appropriate college-level support
Sometimes there is a law of the neurodiversity universe that is just…not…fair: Too often, those parents that did the best the job of caring for their neurodivergent children (when their children really needed it)? It is often THEY that have the hardest time letting go when it’s time. But let go we must.
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From Parent to Coach: Getting Your Student on the Spectrum Through College
Navigating College With Neurodivergence: A Parent’s Guide To Empowering Your Child
The Ultimate Guide for Parents of Autistic College Students
The College Application Process For Neurodivergent Students
Strategies for effective communication with adult neurodivergent children
Most people know that sarcasm, euphemisms, soliloquys…can often not be understood by neurodiverse individuals, especially those with autism. But how many of us really understand that when an individual (including us) is dysregulated, that it’s really hard to listen, or learn? Learning “active communication” is often one of the many tools available to you.
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Three Strategies to Strengthen Communication for Adults with Autism and Learning Differences
Autism and Communication
The National (UK) Autistic Society
Autism Communication Strategies
Information on privacy laws and student autonomy (FERPA implications)
College students have the right, and it is usually advisable, to prevent their parents or guardians from accessing their grades or medical information from the university (yes, even if you’re the ones paying for college). But is your child ready for that?
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Protecting Student Privacy
The US Department of Education
Understanding & Respecting FERPA: What Parents & Families Need to Know
Recommendations for supporting independence while providing a safety net
Do we one day stop unilaterally taking care of our children, and then on the first day of college completely cut them off in the name of independence? Of course not. It’s a noticeable change for all involved, but there usually are more gradual ways to accomplish the same goals.
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College Success Tips for Neurodivergent Students
Learning to Let Go
Specific tools and approaches for different neurotypes (autism, ADHD, learning differences)
Miscellaneous techniques and concepts used for learning are also available to any parent who wishes to investigate those ideas that…simply weren’t available to their parents back in the day. Visual aids, “chunking,” fidget toys, headphones, sunglasses, digital note-taking apps…These can also be a part of an “accommodations wish list” to work through with university accommodations offices.
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Types of Neurodiversity, and How to Design Learning Experiences for Them
Seeking Learning Accommodations for Neurodivergent Individuals: A Comprehensive Guide
Note-taking Tools
UCI Disability Services Center
Building You ADHD Toolkit
Teaching Strategies for Students with Dyslexia
American University School of Education
Guidelines for crisis intervention vs. everyday support
Remember that first and foremost, the best outcomes occur when the “intervener” is regulated and calm. Secondly, that when the person in distress is trying to self-regulate, that trying to talk to them can often make things worse as it takes away from their focus.
Note: Most of the literature surrounds children. But while the danger factor can feel greatly heightened because of the increased physical threat of a larger human, the rules surrounding children often apply because so much of the emotional journey for the person in distress is the same. Also, calling first responders is always an option.
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Crisis Management in Children with Autism and First Responders
Free From Restraints: Gentle Ways To Help an Autistic Child Manage Meltdowns
Training that Emphasizes Safety, Consistency, and Restraints as a Last Resort
Safety-Care® Basics
Campus resources parents should be familiar with
Northeastern University Office of Prevention and Education
Northeastern University Sexual Violence Resources for Parents and Families
Northeastern University Office of Prevention and Education
Northeastern University Office of Prevention and Education
Note: Northeastern defines wellness as fostering your emotional, social, intellectual, physical, environmental, spiritual, occupational, and financial wellbeing.
The Northeastern University School of Engineering’s Neurodiversity Initiative